* Saurabh, don’t get yourself, bonded with the wedding knot, you will have to repent. Look at us, we keep nodding our heads to whatever the wife says. You too will have to accept slavery for a moment of happiness.
* Nirmitee, you cannot understand my sufferings and pain, unless you get married. Ours is a love marriage, I am an equal earner in the family, but still being a wife, I have to accept a secondary position else, I am taunted by the words, “She is too smart”.
* Nowadays, youngsters treat marriage as a game, they are not serious about it. Their marriages collapse, as if they are the bungalows of playing cards, due to any useless reasons or due to ego problems and they are easily legally separated.
Such dialog are heard since many years. As time passes, the dimensions change, but the root cause is the same. Everybody wants to get married and they want their marriage to be successful automatically. Those who do not marry are either hate or sympathized with similar conversations. They are often emphasized with the vital importance of getting married. Even in a love marriage, there are different types of stresses and problems. In spite of all this, the enthusiasm of getting married does not reduce at all. An individual, who has had legal separation once, or twice / thrice is equally enthusiastic to remarry.
Marriage is an entity that involves huge amount of celebration, ceremonies, expenses, give and take, arguments, disputes, quarrels, fights, and in few cases even murders and wars. That’s the reason, a man and a woman being bonded with a wedding knot is treated and accepted as an obvious and traditional phenomena. However, if marriage is such a wonderful, most wanted, repeatedly occurring event, then why does one come across martial problems?
Various lectures, books, TV Serials and newspapers have enlightened a lot about this subject. Many free advises regarding the behavior of husband and wife, how they should understand each other, how to communicate, how to cohabit-ate, go for a walk, enjoy a drama or movie together, how a wife should adapt with the family members, how can the husband play a balanced role in the disputes between his wife and mother etc. are given. However those who can sustain their martial life, carry on and those who cannot, often shatter. Most of the times the wedded lock that no more exists at a mental level, is inevitably carried out for the dependent children. These problems cannot have any permanent remedy or solution by anyone, and at any time, unless the master key to martial success, which lies in the foundation of the martial relationship is understood.
Any wed lock or a martial relationship or a husband-wife cohabitation is primarily based on two facts and the facts are sexuality and finance or money. These are only the two wheels that drive the vehicle of companionship. Other related aspects like family members, off springs, relatives, festivals, religious functions, celebrations are all superficial. But sexuality and money are the two factors about which a man and a woman have different perspectives. A man and /or a woman who understands and adapts this perspective difference the most, and is bonded in a marriage can surely lead a prosperous and happily wedded life.
Basically, when a man and a woman get married, neither of them is aware of the psyche behind it. Similarly, no woman studies the approach of a man willing to marry. Both of them are totally unaware of it. Let us compare the mentalities, and perspectives of a man and a woman
Perspectives of a woman (Feminine Characteristics) Perspectives of a Man (Masculine Characteristics) are as follows
- A woman needs love today and everyday and she is ready to have sex for the same.
- A man needs sex today and everyday and is ready to give love for the same.
- A woman is always emotional A man is always practical
- A woman is always under the coverage of pain and guilt and can never be happy. If she is disturbed, the entire routine is disturbed.
- A man usually is casual and , however disturbed he may be, he carries on with his routine.
- A woman matures early to shoulder the responsibility.
- A man prefers his bachelor’s life even after his marriage. He tends to shed off the family responsibilities.
- A woman always considers herself physically and mentally weak and so she can cry and waive off her feelings any time and multiple times.
- A man feels he is strong and so he feels crying is admitting his failure.
- A woman tries to express herself to the maximum extent and so her husband feels that she keeps babbling, gabbing.
- A man cannot express himself to his full extent. He is precise but chit chats a lot with his friends.
- A woman may forgive her husband if he has sex with other woman but she can never forgive him for the mental relationship he has with the other woman.
- A man can forgive his wife, if she is mentally involved with other man but can never forgive her if the involvement is physical. He is very possessive about this matter.
- A woman never forgives her husband quickly. She stretches her anger and refuses to converse for a considerable time.
- A man quickly forgives and becomes practical.
- A woman always wants her husband to attend to her. She blackmails him and is ready to do anything for attention seeking.
- A man always wants his wife to praise him for his efficiency and is ready to do any thing for this.
- A woman likes festivals, celebrations, religious functions. She eager to get dressed up and make effective use of jewelry for herself.
- A man in not much interested in festivals. He is keen on going to picnic, enjoying the parties and chitchatting with his friends.
- A woman is disturbed a lot due to disputes and she expects her husband to understand her, talk to her and caress her.
- A man after a dispute, feels staying away from his wife would give him peace and so he goes away from the house, considering that after her anger calms down, circumstances would soon be normal.
- If a woman needs sex, she is suggestive to her husband. For example, she may come home early from her office.
- A man demands sex directly to his wife. He suggests and talks so that his wife is excited.
- For a woman, money is only a revel, a source of providing luxury. Hence for her, love is more important than money. But she insists that her
- A man can do anything for money. Money is the priority of his life and hence he gives more importance to investments and assets
- husband should have plenty of money.
- A woman is emotionally dependent on her husband
- A man pretends to show off that he is not emotionally dependent on his wife.
- A woman respects her husband and she shows it in the society never criticizes him.
- A woman for a man is ridicule. He has less respect for her.
- A woman accepts that she bothers her husband and has a feeling of guilt about it.
- A man always admits that he never bothers his wife.
- A woman thinks about others first.
- A man thinks about himself first.
- A woman is lazy and less active. But she hates doing time pass.
- A man is active but likes doing time pass.
- A woman is basically under the pit of insecurity.
- A man always has insecurity regarding his money matters.
- A women are never ready to financially help any body and if they have to do so, they keep a follow up unless the money is recovered.
- A man easily lends money and repents when its not recovered.
- A woman tends to be unspoken and stretch her being silent for a long time.
- A man enjoys being unspoken for a short span of time but later is concerned and worried about it.
- A woman prefers cleanliness.
- A man can stay in an unclean house.
- A woman generally is not addicted.
- A man is quickly addicted or he he likes to be addicted.
- A woman, when plays a role of wife, expects that her husband should just listen to her cries, complaints and talks. She expects no opinion or pay backs about the same.
- A man, when plays a role of a husband, provides solutions and tries his best to solve any problem faced by his wife
- A woman is interested in shopping and can spare more than enough time and money for it.
- A man likes to shop quickly. He hates the time pass done during shopping.
- A woman believes that men don’t understand emotions.
- A man believes that women do not have common sense.
- A woman can easily blackmail and do nagging.
- A man hates nagging. He always wants freedom.
- A wife frequently complaints that her husband does not have time for her.
- A husband often questions, when we are together throughout the day and night, which time still has to be given?
- A wife can immediately detect her husband lying to her.
- A man often lies and is angry when he is caught for the same.
- A woman expresses her anger by babbling, yelling or by arguing.
- A man shows his anger through his behavior.